Ever Since the Movies Taught Me About the Space-Time Continuum
by Amorak Huey
I have begun to see my body as gap, absence, rending:
the hole between a moment
and the more meaningful moment that follows.
Between, say, calling to request “Legs”
and the DJ finally playing the song.
Between my friend’s stepfather careening home
and the yelling downstairs.
Between pushing play and the tape beginning to turn.
Between the tape and the sound.
Or the pause between Oooh, I want her and Shit, I got to have her.
Oh, to sing like that. To be honest about desire.
The broken porch light. The dark driveway. The squealing tires.
We have no idea what we want or how to escape.
My friend is embarrassed by his stepfather’s swearing,
by the store-brand cola in the refrigerator, by his own mutable flesh.
My friend doesn’t look down when he pees.
My friend has no idea how I feel about his older sister,
her thighs and the Judas Priest concert shirt she wears to bed
my plans to tap softly on her door
after everyone else falls asleep and before this narrative falls apart
because I have no idea what happens next –
how the time might pass between that moment and the rest of my life.
I have no idea how old I am in this story. In any story.
I will never feel any different than I do right now but I do not yet know this.
My friend has to get up early
because he goes to church with his mother on Sunday mornings.
Also Sunday nights and Wednesday nights.
This is so much God, you have no idea.
On their way to salvation, they will drop me off at home
because I do not have appropriate clothes.
I will lock myself in my room and catch up on my dreams:
the ripening. The fall. The chasm between.
Amorak Huey is author of the chapbook The Insomniac Circus (Hyacinth Girl Press, 2014) and the forthcoming collection Ha Ha Ha Thump (Sundress Publications, 2015). A former newspaper editor and reporter, he teaches writing at Grand Valley State University. His poems appear in anthologies including The Best American Poetry 2012, The Poetry of Sex, and the forthcoming New Poetry from the Midwest. His poems appear in The Southern Review, Midwestern Gothic, The Collagist, Poet Lore, Hayden’s Ferry Review, Menacing Hedge, Stirring, and many other print and online journals. Follow him on Twitter: @amorak.