August 1, 2016



for Eugene and Katie


by Derrick C. Brown


I first plugged her in.
Her report clearly states:
My Man.
My generous heart.
Champion of the odd.
Tear loofah.
I’m sorry the world doesn’t want a TV show
called Horseback Surprise.
I do.
You solve my loneliness and lo-fi fear.
I’ll make you a cocktail when you are down
with a jigger of cold beach
and a splash of helium
to lift your chin
when the forces of hmphf
are against you.
Shall I hide in the house before you get home
to scare the heavy day off of you?
I will. Your boo is meant to be scary.
Look at me and hear the jukebox of us.
Look at me and hear 1956 shooting out of my poodle.
See me eating shit, flail dancing at every sock hop.
See me parallel parking every Chevy Bel Air like a boss.
My Man.
My reservoir of kindness.
I’d steal plot specific things
from every movie set to make you laugh.
I demand a rewrite.
I demand your kiss, French theft.
You have stolen me in broad daylight.
You have a search light face
and it still shines hot
from my tiny palaces.

Then I plugged in the man.
His readout suggests:
Ribs. Bye bye.
Scotch. Ow. Mmm.
Lady lady lady lady lady lady lady
cool buns lady lady lady
Lady lady.

My tandem swimmer.
My body pillow with veins.
Where I retreat and fall back in the war of myself.
Did you know all snakes dream of karate?
They wake up sobbing
and can’t wipe the tears away?
Everyone wants a love
like a roundhouse to the neck
but not everyone is lucky in legs.
I dunno.
I’m crazy as a cranberry.

I need to send a complaint letter to
Sharper Image for quitting too early.
Lady, I won’t quit.
I’ll marry your feet.
I’ll eat 50 dollars.
You know I can do it.
I am psychoed by your love.
I am also psychoed by horseradish.
Shall I hold you like a ship’s wheel
as the winds rise around us?
We should get some plants-
put ’em in our bedroom and when you sleep
I will watch them grow fast into your purple light.
My spectrum bright—
Fall back, fall back!



DERRICK c. BROWN  is a comedian, poet and storyteller. He is the winner of the 2013 Texas Book of The Year award for Poetry. He is a former Paratrooper for the 82nd Airborne and is the president of one of what Forbes and Filter Magazine call “…one of the best independent poetry presses in the country”, Write Bloody Publishing, which has launched over 112 books of poetry. He is the author of five books of poetry and three children’s books. The New York Times calls his work, “…a rekindling of faith in the weird, hilarious, shocking, beautiful power of words.” He is from LA.

Image: “Hubble Planetary Nebula Mix”, by NASA, ESA, and the Hubble Heritage Team (STScI/AURA).